NOT SO SAD ANYMORE

Below is an old, unhinged poem I’ve let rest in the drafts for months. I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older to let the louder emotions simmer, though sometimes that tact can be an overcorrection. You can become withholding. At the time I wrote this, someone was annoying me by being aloof and indecisive yet still, somehow, needy (isn’t that diabolical—to hog all the insecure behaviors?) and I got sad for a while and lied down—figuratively—then one day I just stood up. It was a step prior to the almost Buddhist detachment I feel to the situation today. Now I think the poem is funny.

NOT SO SAD ANYMORE

TURNED ON THE SAD PLAYLIST
IT’S MAINSTREAM
GOOD BECAUSE I MADE IT
JOHN PRINE EMMYLOU HARRIS  
FEIST AND SADE AND BEACH HOUSE BLOC PARTY
LYKKE LI BIG THIEF SURE WHY NOT SNEAK ON 
LATE-CAREER MARIAH CAREY 
WITH THE HUSKIER REGISTER
BEGIN TO ENJOY MY OWN COMPANY 
AGAIN LIKE WHEN I
COULD NOT WAIT
AFTER SCHOOL TO GET BACK 
TO MY ROOM TO DO 
VARIOUS THINGS

YOU KNOW.
AND AMONG THEM
PLAY OUT LITTLE SCENES
LIVE OUT THE BIG ROMANCE 
IN MY HOUSE DRESS
GOOD TO MAKE A MESS
TO NOT LIVE UP TO THE IMAGE
SOMEONE HAS OF YOU
WHICH IS WRONG
AND NOT EXACTLY FLATTERING

THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS
IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT
ARE IMPRESSIVE IN RAW
ENERGY TRANSMITTED
BY FORCE THROUGH THE
GUTTURAL FLOURISHES OF
NICOLE SCHERZINGER'S VOICE
AND THE PROPOSAL SHE MAKES
SO NAKEDLY IN DON'T CHA
OR NOT A PROPOSAL BUT A SERIES
OF QUESTIONS AND SUGGESTIONS
WHICH ULTIMATELY DUE TO
THEIR TONAL TACT UPEND 
THE CRASSNESS THE UNCOUTHNESS
OF THE ASSERTION

BUT NO ONE WANTS
THEIR PLAYLISTS TO BE TOO
ON THE NOSE AND HOPE INSTEAD TO
CONVEY DIGNITY SUBTLETY
SEXINESS BY CIRCUMSTANCE SELECTING EVERYTHING JUST TO
THE SIDE OF THEIR DOMINANT EMOTIONS

NOT ME THOUGH
CAN'T IMPLY
MUST EXPRESS 
VAGARIES OF 
INTERNAL WEATHER
AND IF YOU 
CAN'T TAKE IT 
OH GOOD I CAN 
GET SAD AGAIN