This Week's Clichés

It’s important to remember what I know. Including that it’s important not to always trust my gut, which quakes at any rumbling of uncertainty. Sometimes discomfort tells me that I haven’t done something before, and so I can’t play games now, can’t come up with little ways to tell the future. Apparently I have to move towards discomfort in order to grow. But with love, I’m supposed to be really comfortable all the time. Or maybe, comfortable primarily, and only uncomfortable at specific, fleeting moments. I’ve also heard that I will be comfortable in love if I’m “secure” and likely to be uncomfortable anyway if I’m traumatized, in which case I would have to heal. I don’t think I’m traumatized but I have been disturbed, in the literal sense. I have been thrust out of “security.” I keep putting it in quotes because it sounds lofty to me. There’s also safety. Who makes you “feel safe”? Well, I get that one. People can do that. Can’t secure me, but some may be able to give me the feeling that several and various ways of being are possible and acceptable, and that those ways are my ways. Change is the only constant. Ok. What now? And now? And now.